Standing on her balcony in a wedding dress, Tenar saw the world. With stars twinkling in the heavens above and isorestons glittering in the town beneath, a surreal glow seemed to permeate the air, as though the Ascendants had infused the evening with a special light for the evening before her wedding.
She hoped they would forgive her for what she was about to do.
Tenar took one deep breath, then another. Being Given had meant that the decisions she could make were kept to a minimum, being restricted even on the clothes she could wear and the food she could eat, but now… Now she could do what she wanted, be what she wanted.
What she did not want to be was the perfect child, the chosen daughter of her father, and most especially, she did not want to become the perfect wife of Lord Shleil. Being Given to him for the rest of her life seemed to be the worst fate imaginable. Sure, he was brave and rich and daring—and thus the perfect man—but now that Tenar had been freed from her father she wished to never be subjugated to anyone ever again.
Which brought her back to why she was standing on the balcony. Lifting her voluminous skirts with one hand and steadying herself with the other, Tenar climbed onto the balustrade and stared down at the river flowing beneath. Moments ago, it had seemed like a quiet stream flowing gently by, now it was a great black torrent of death, ready to sweep her soul down to the Beneath.
Five deep breaths, in and out, then she would lean forward and create her own destiny. With each breath came a thought. One for what her father said hours before, that she was poised at that moment between girl and woman. Two that she was now balanced on the brink between life and death. Three for her sister, who had never had the time of day to listen to her fears, sorrows, or complaints. Four for her brother, always busy with learning how to become king. Five for—
Her door slammed open, and Tenar turned to see her father and Lord Shlel coming through the doorway. They paused, then the former put a hand to his lips in shock while the latter reached his hands out pleadingly, begging her to reconsider.
Tenar’s breaths were ragged and short now, her eyes glancing from her father to Shlel and finally, back to the river.
She couldn’t do it.
Tenar lifted her skirts, ready to descend into the men’s waiting arms, when her skirt snagged on something, pulling her steadily backwards until she could no longer retain her balance, until she was falling, slowly and gracelessly, to the Beneath.
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